Mario is a piece of work, am I right? Enslaving Donkey Kong, exposing himself, and cheating on Peach is just scratching the surface really, because this man has committed so much murder in his life that he should be put away forever. There is a secret within the Mushroom Kingdom that Nintendo would love to bury forever, but thankfully the evidence is clear and there is nothing they can hide. Mario killed tons of citizens from the Mushroom Kingdom, and he has never been held accountable for the thousands of people he has murdered over the course of 35 years.
Well, it is that time of week again, and this is that time Mario killed tons of Mushroom Kingdom Citizens.
The year is 1985, and Super Mario Bros. is taking the gaming world by storm. Nintendo was officially printing money with the Nintendo Entertainment System as they released the console in the west and saw massive success. At the front line, Mario was sitting pretty as the new top-dog of gaming, and it was yet another classic good vs evil storyline where Mario had to save the damsel in distress from the clutches of the evil King Koopa.
But that is not the entire story. Actually, the story of the original game is not really communicated in the Super Mario Bros. game at all. That’s because back during the old days, stories were printed inside the instruction manuals, especially for titles that steered away from lots and lots of text on screen, such as Final Fantasy. Super Mario Bros. is a game that told its story in the manual, and it is a bit more revealing than it should be.
For starters, the Koopa tribe are apparently masters of black magic, which is something I was not aware of. Outside of Kamek, most of the enemies in the Super Mario franchise don’t seem very magical, but I guess there is some dark magic within the Koopas. The most interesting part of the story is in the opening paragraph, though:
“The quiet, peace-loving Mushroom People were turned into mere stones, bricks, and even field horse-hair plants.” That is why when you play Super Mario games, there are no citizens around. Just the enemies of black magic, and a ton of bricks and blocks scattered around, floating in mid-air somehow (Black magic, perhaps?).
Mario, without a care in the world, begins his career as a “hero” by stomping on a Goomba and then bashing some floating bricks for points, coins, and even power-ups, but that brick-breaking carries a different weight when you learn that they are actually Mushroom People. That means for every brick Mario broke, Mario killed a Mushroom Kingdom citizen.
Honestly, it doesn’t even communicate how the bricks work. Does each brick represent one Mushroom Person? Or does a cluster of bricks represent one? If it is the former, there are at least 10 bricks in one square block, which would imply that a minimum of 10 Mushroom People are killed per one block.
There is also nothing communicated about the question mark blocks, so I do not want to assume. However, speculation is that poor, unfortunate Toads were put into these blocks and the power-ups that come out of them are dying gifts from the Toads, but this is merely rumor and speculation.
That doesn’t mean we cannot over-analyze Mario’s brick-breaking antics!
In World 1-2, a brick-heavy stage in the original Super Mario Bros., there are over 390 brick blocks in the stage (For the record, I literally counted every single brick block myself). If we apply the 10 Mushroom People-per-block idea, that means that 3,900+ citizens of Mushroom Kingdom can be broken and killed in this one stage alone. Worlds 1-2 and 4-2 are the stages with the most bricks, and between just those two alone, we are looking at over 10,000 Mushroom People.
Sure, Mario does not usually destroy every brick block he approaches, but over the 35 years he has existed, how many countless brick blocks has his punched? How many citizens has Mario killed over the years? And why doesn’t Mario hesitate breaking these brick blocks before Princess Peach can change them back to normal?
I guess the instruction manual didn’t shy away from spoiling things, because “Mario, the hero of the story (maybe)” is not actually the hero (maybe). He’s the villain (maybe).
Thank you for stopping by Nintendo Link and enjoying this “That Time” article. What do you think about Mario this time around? He is a terrible person, huh? Definitely not the hero Nintendo claims him to be. Let us know what you think in the comments below! Happy gaming, everyone.
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My name is Jason Capp. I am a husband, father, son, and brother, and I am a gamer, a writer, and a wannabe pro wrestler. It is hard to erase the smile on this simple man.