Mario has not had the best track record when it comes to being the wholesome, committed, and family-friendly character that Miyamoto and Nintendo desperately want him to be. I mean, even simply on the surface, Mario is not very kind to his brother Luigi, his own flesh and blood, and he thinks that violence is the answer to just about everything. But nudity? Can Mario escape the trap of NSFW material at least? Well, the answer is no, because in Mario’s very own comic book, he has exposed himself.
Our Super Hero plumber has yet again disappointed, and I’m here to tell you about that time we saw Mario’s “member” in a comic book.
In 1988, one year prior to Mario cheating on Peach with Daisy, Japanese comic book (manga) publisher Kodansha began working on kids’ comic book series based on the Super Mario universe. The very first issue, titled Super Mario Land, by Motoyama Kazuki, is the comic book we are going to be spending some quality time on, because this is the one where Mario is exposed.
Okay. Here is your warning. This may not be safe for work, so if you want to protect yourself from looking at some questionable content, I would advise closing this tab and coming back later while you are on the toilet or just somewhere safer.
Are we ready yet? Again…
Your warning is done, because here we go!
As the story goes along in Super Mario Land Issue #1, somehow Peach is inside of a robot, and along with Mario, they are going about their business when suddenly a Fish Bone eyes Mario from the waters, jumps out, takes a chomp out of Mario’s buttocks, and YOWZERS! Mario is in so much pain that he literally jumps out of his pants while the Fish Bone hangs on to his overalls.
The following picture is the aftermath, and again, I’m warning you, there is a penis about to show up on your screen. This is your final warning.
Since this lovely comic book has never made its way to a western audience (I wonder why), I will do some translation work, as I did live in Japan for over 10 years.
In the top right box (Remember, in Japanese manga and books, they read right to left), Mario is in a fury screaming, “This guy! This freakin’ guy!”, as he stomps the hell out of the Fish Bone that bit his bum. Peach in the same box is staring right at Mario’s dangly bits with big eyes and her heart bouncing out of the robot. Peach is seen in the upper left box squeamishly saying, “Ma… Mario’s…”, before sucker-punching Mario with all of her robot power and screaming, “PERVERT!” (Technically, she is saying “LEWD!” here, but it would be equivalent to calling a flasher a perv)
Robo-Peach launches Mario perfectly into a warp pipe that conveniently transports him to a bonus area with lots of free coins. I guess there are perks to being exposed in an old Japanese comic book from 1988.
For context, Japan is not so prude about such things, as even the original Dragon Ball comic book series shows little Goku’s twig and berries and the character slapping Bulma’s vulva. It is a culture that finds a lot of humor in this sort of thing, so it is without question that Japanese manga creators from the 1980s would use such penile jokes… like this:
Sorry. That was a bit too easy.
But thankfully it did happen, because otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about it and we wouldn’t remember that time we got to see Mario’s “member” in a Japanese comic book… his tiny, hairless “member”.
Thank you for stopping by Nintendo Link and enjoying this new “That Time” article. What did you think of Mario and his unit? Are you surprised this exists? Let us know what you think in the comments below! Happy gaming, everyone.
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My name is Jason Capp. I am a husband, father, son, and brother, and I am a gamer, a writer, and a wannabe pro wrestler. It is hard to erase the smile on this simple man.