That Time Birdo Had an Adult Toy Under Their Pillow
Birdo is one of those Super Mario characters that still strikes up conversation to this very day. The androgynous character is a pink, Yoshi-like creature with a wide-gaping mouth that apparently expels eggs on demand. The biggest question about Birdo is their sex, and instead of going the normal route that a Birdo can be both male or female, Nintendo has been a lot more ambiguous about it. Well, some times they are subtle, and some times they are just plain direct.
This is that time Birdo had an adult toy under their pillow!
Right out of the gate, the way Birdo is introduced to the world via the Super Mario Bros 2 instruction manual is as such, “He thinks he is a girl and he spits eggs from his mouth. He’d rather be called ‘birdetta’.” Okay. So Birdo is a transgender female, yes? Well, it isn’t so simple, actually.
Birdo’s gender has been mentioned or at least implied in fifteen other games since her debut, which are: Super Mario Advance, Mario Tennis, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, Mario Hoops 3-on-3, Mario Superstar Baseball, Super Mario Strikers, Mario Strikers Charged, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Mario Super Sluggers, Captain Rainbow, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and Mario Tennis Aces. They are referred to as or implied to be a male character in the Japanese versions of Super Smash Bros. Melee and Mario Kart: Double Dash!!. In the American versions of the same games, they are referred to as or implied to be a female character. Their gender is left as undetermined in all versions of Super Mario Strikers and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
But the game we need to focus on today is the Japanese-only Captain Rainbow, and as we begin talking about this title, there is a reason why it has never left Japanese shores.
Shortly after the prologue of the Japanese-exclusive Wii title, one of the first characters that the hero, who’s stranded on a mysterious island filled with past-their-prime Nintendo misfit characters, has to help is Birdo, who happens to be locked up. Your superhero character eventually finds out why, and then proceeds to help the wrongfully accused Birdo.
What happens is interesting considering Birdo’s history. A robot police officer accuses Birdo, whom the robot claims is clearly “a man”, of using the women’s restroom. Before Birdo can even attempt to justify themselves, they are put behind bars and subject to a harsh sentence, which makes Birdo IRATE.
The gag at this point is that the robot caught Birdo walking out of the women’s restroom while exclaiming, “Wow! That was huge. That was like giving birth!”, which then leads to the accusation and arrest. Well, Birdo tasks you with proving their innocence and going to their house to find evidence that they are, indeed, a woman. Well, what happens next is just plain weird, and considering this game was published by Nintendo, it does make one question their motives with this wild title.
From there, you make your way to Birdo’s home, which is decked out in pink, red, and purple and decorated with hearts, ribbons, and eggs. I mean, it is a bit overboard, but you cannot prove that the pink dinosaur-like creature is a woman just based on decor. You make your way up the ramp to their bedroom, and this is where you begin to hear a strong vibration.
The main character can search around for the noise, even getting into Birdo’s drawers and seeing other weird things, but it becomes clear as day where it is coming from, as the pillow in the middle of the bed begins to vibrate itself. Once the pillow is moved, the main character finds the evidence and holds the blurred out object over his head exclaiming, 「オンナの証を入手した！」, which translates to, “I have acquired the proof of a woman!”
Umm… yeah. That proof of a woman? Well, they were barely being subtle, as there are very few things that vibrate and are located in a bedroom that prove ones womanhood, and the only logical solution is a vibrator. Well, the hero has saved the day and proven once and for all that Birdo is indeed a woman! Happy days!
What this actually proves is not much. Truthfully, this just seems like a running gag over at Nintendo, even if it is incredibly insensitive in this day and age. Birdo’s identity can be whatever anyone wants it to be, as the character is fictional and Nintendo cannot be bothered with a proper bio.
In Captain Rainbow, however, Birdo is a woman by the logic of the game. I mean, I personally do not know how Yoshi and Birdo’s anatomies work or if they even have genitalia, but one thing is for sure, that vibrator is used for something (Mouth? Butt? Someplace else???).
By Nintendo’s own in-game logic, it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that this beloved character is indeed a woman and that she dropped a massive deuce in the appropriate restroom. Case closed!
Thank you for stopping by Nintendo Link and enjoying this “That Time” article. What do you think of story from Captain Rainbow? Are you shocked? Not at all? Let us know what you think in the comments below! Happy gaming, everyone.
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