Red Colony 2 Switch Review – Now with Dinos! (NSFW)

Well, it appears Red Colony was not enough, as zombies groping and tearing clothes off apparently deserves a sequel. But let me spoil something for you right out of the gate! Red Colony 2 also has dinosaurs, so it is no longer just the undead ripping off your protagonist’s clothes, as dinosaurs apparently are perverts, too.

So does Red Colony 2 improve upon anything from its predecessor? Or is this simply more of the same aggressive male chauvinism that was thrust into our faces in the first one? Well, I guess it depends on how much of a pervy weeaboo you are, but let’s find out what makes this sequel any different.

WARNING: This whole review is NSFW.

It may come as a surprise to you, but Red Colony 2 doesn’t really take place on Red Colony much at all. Actually, it takes place on Blue Colony (Why didn’t we just name the game as such?), and it is more or less mostly the same.

It is worth noting that the title screen is infuriating. Not that it is any different from the first, but this is still some borderline pornographic stuff that absolutely diminishes the main character. How can I invest in someone the dev team clearly does not respect or care about? Ugh. This is already starting off great.

You play as Nicole, a… ahem… large-breasted woman (Nothing new there) who is a sex worker in the colonies (Red and Blue? Are there more?), but that is only a ruse. She is actually Mother of the Year material, and the government is holding something against her that forces her to be a sex worker on a moon base to save her daughter (What?!). Only major problem is that staying alive and saving her daughter requires her to deal with misogynistic a-holes, zombies, and dinosaurs. Yup. Dinosaurs. This is already Game of the Year material, amirite?

If you read my review of the first title, Red Colony 2 similarly is a side-scrolling puzzle game with some action sprinkled in, but it is really hard for me to type that last sentence with a straight face, as the puzzles are nonsensical observational puzzles and the action is as clunky and hard to control as they come.

The puzzles are beyond obscure most of the time. The first few puzzles are plainly written on walls or payphones, so simply looking around will help find the key codes you need to move on. However, as you progress in the game, puzzles become more and more convoluted, and the clues are hidden in really dumb ways. Some times they are hidden within a dreadful conversation with one of Nicole’s so-called friends, and some times they are written in notes hidden somewhere out of place. A lot of the times, too, the clues just make no sense, and by the time you find the puzzle or the door with a key pad, you cannot remember the obscure clue and you’ll need to backtrack just to remind yourself. It is even worse if you just skipped through a conversation with someone (Because the dialog is horrendous) that contained a clue, because then you will have to search aimlessly until you find it again.

Combat is slightly different this time around, as Nicole is not equipped with the indestructible and all-powerful Bowie knife that could easily take out every zombie in Maria’s path in Red Colony. Nicole is initially equipped with a breakable baseball bat that can only kill one zombie before ultimately breaking. Breakable melee weapons in a game like this is painful, because it makes everything go even slower. Guns and bullets can be found and purchased, too, but they are usually expensive and are incredibly hard to aim.

The other major difference in combat happens to be the dinosaurs. Why they exist is beyond me, but we are also talking about a game that has zombies and sex workers on a scientific moon base.

The dinosaurs are, and I hate to say this, genuinely fun and interesting. For the most part, you are unable to combat them, so your only option is to run and escape. Despite the slow and clunky controls, these are some great scare moments that cause proper stress in an otherwise unperturbed experience.

But I have to nail this point down once again, the sexualizing of every female character is obnoxious. The overly chauvinistic display clearly shows that this game was made by men for men just like the first, and that the zombies and dinosaurs are simply a backdrop for the plethora of large boobs spread throughout the game. The two polarizing themes do not do well together, and this sequel would have benefited tremendously had they treated these female characters with any respect. However, after playing and reviewing the first game, I did not expect any different.

Like the original, Red Colony 2 is very difficult to recommend, despite its affordable price and decent scares with the raptors. This time around, we have a bad story, an abysmal cast of characters, a continuation of an archaic saving method, beyond stupid puzzles, breakable melee weapons, bland graphics and designs, and a horrible soundtrack.

How can you care about this game or anything about it when it doesn’t even feel like the dev team cares themselves? Once again, the real star is Nicole’s boobs, but this time we have a few sex workers to exploit and poke fun of as well, even allowing the hyper-masculine male characters to say abhorrent things throughout with little-to-no consequence.

I mean, if you enjoy lots of scantily clad women in your zombie/dinosaur stories, then I guess Red Colony 2 is for you. If not, please avoid this one like the plague (You know, like the one we are still dealing with in 2021 thanks to more COVID-19 variants.).

Red Colony 2 Review provided by Nintendo Link
Publisher: Shinyuden
Developer: RunicCodes
Release Date: May 5, 2021
Price: $6.99, £6.29, €6,99
Game Size: 1.4 GB